kenneth pissed me off so bad last night. one of our friends stopped by who already knew he was gay and i jokingly said something about how he has a lot of boys over. i did not know this who be such a big deal to him. well it was and he got so mad. he went to go pick someone up so i went to bed and later that night he came in my bed when i was reading and was like i can;t be mad at you. whatever. also i don;t know why i do this but i let him do things. not like sex or anything but just chest up over my clothes touching. its not that i don;t want him, not at all. its just that i think i am leading him on? idk but i like to tease him and that is so wrong. i especially am no person to tease anyone. but i can;t help it. i like the attention. he thinks we are going to have sex. but today we were sitting the bookstore food court helping him study, laughing and just being goofy when all of a sudden he started bitching at me for letting his "secret" slip to kristen, the girl that came over last night. he makes it seem like i told he was gay. what he doesn;t know is that people figure it out on their own. he acts so flamboyant. more so than nick and nick is really gay, not bi like kenneth. so he starts bitching at me telling me i am not a good friend and i was like getting upset almost to tears. so i told him i was going to leave and he was like "good luck getting home". i like fuck this so i got up and ate lunch with nick. then he came along a little while later and apologized and said that he loved me or whatever. i swear he just picks fights randomly. then he took me home and we stopped at old navy and he picked another fight. i am one that easily forgives and forgets so i was over it by the time we left. on the way out he was holding my hand saying "this just feels right". he always says that whenever we are playfully spooning or feeling me up. he is always wanting to kiss me too. he always says things like "we're gonna have sex " and what not. just about every weekend i think he tries to get me drunk so that i will sleep with him. how i am describing him makes him sound like a rapist but i promsie you he is not. i trust him with my life. we play too much but he knows when i am seriosu and to be honest i think he is scared of girls so it would take a lot of coaxing. anyway today was a pretty good day. it was really cold so i bought a hoodie and a lamp from the bookstore. student charge. i will be paying for it until i am 39. so they had both better last and my grandkids better appreciate them.