Firday September 15

i just got home from work at kohls and i accidently left my itunes on. well it was off when i came home and i am pretty sure nick had closed out of the program for me. no big deal. except he read the last xanga entry that i had also left up. i really hope he didn;t read it. shit. i am gong to avoid him tomorrow and just wait for him to say something. i am prolly just overanalyzing this like i usually do and making it a bigger deal. oh well. i sold 2 credits today at work and am in the excellent zone my boss said. yes! i also love being a cashier and counting down the drawers. idk why. but my hands always smell like change and when i have to lick my fingertip so i can get the bags apart i always forget and taste the money. i wanted to gag each and every time. at work when i had down time i was thinking what kind of book i wanted mine to be. i think i am going to wait until the end and just see what it turns out to be. i do know i want pictures in it. i think i am embarassed that nick may have read my stuff cuz it was personal. too bad he is sleeping right now. i could go in his room and jump on his bed and ask him. ps, i'm not real good at the avoiding thing. i would rather confront my problems. not because i am brave. lord no. because i just get so curious. omg. today at work, i was at the cash register and these india people came in and when they were done and leaving instead of saying "have a good night" i fucking said "thank you come again" fuck. me. running. i didn;t say it with an accent but still. they gave me a look and said something in nit english. i really would have prefered to just drop dead right then. i could feel the color drain from my face. sorry my self diagnosed ADD is so bad and i keep jumping around.